So it’s not a secret I have gained a few pounds (or 20.) I don’t know why because I haven’t really significantly changed my diet or exercise routine, but I am going to chalk it up to school food, stopping growing in the past year, and birth control. So, I went from a size 2 to a size 6/8 and that makes me feel pretty bad about myself. Also going from weighing 135 to 155 doesn’t help much either. But I realize that I am putting too much emphasis on numbers.
In addition. The clothes that fit you as “a string bean” as my great uncle put it, fit much differently than those that fit you as a voluptuous lady.
I’m not wholly unhappy with my new shape but I definitely can feel the extra weight. Last night I calculated my BMI and looked at a few height/weight charts and found out I am a healthy weight on the higher end of a medium size frame.
Also, my weight before, 130ish as a 5’9 female, was on the low end of the spectrum, and not normal for a medium framed woman (like myself).
So, I have decided my target weight is 150, which is more realistic than my previous thoughts that I should weigh under 130 pounds. I’m not “fat” or “heavy” or “bigger” now, but I would like to feel a bit more fit that I do at the moment.
I also need to let go of the scorn I feel for the media and the world for advertising that the ideal woman is stick thin. It’s frustrating flipping through a magazine and not feeling adequate, but I think that once I let go of these unrealistic ideals I can feel better about myself.
And to all the people who have let comments slip about my weight, intentional or not, Nana, my stepmoms friends, various other friends, Please stop commenting on my and other people’s bodies. It’s hurtful and negative, and its the people like you who fuel a society that overly values perfection to an unrealistic length.
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